Congratulations On Your Marriage

YOUR MARRIAGE

What a beautiful experience to marry the woman or man with whom you have fallen in love. It is the picture of perfect romance. You meet, you court, you desire (yearn) to be close to one another and feel like you can’t go another day without wanting to spend the rest of your life together…to love one another, to comfort, honor and respect one another in the good times and bad, as long as you both shall live. You get married and before you know it challenges creep in. The respect and honor get tested, yet the love remains. The two of you have now become one and you kind of, sort of, have a clue what that means, but in reality you really could use that email (right now) from God with bullet points on his version of a successful marriage.

God has such a beautiful design for marriage here on earth and very few choose to fully grasp His divine plan. We rejoice with you in your marriage and pray that the Holy Spirit of the great I Am will speak to you both through this message given to us in 2004 when we were called to be ambassadors of Jesus Christ and ministers to the saints here on earth.

First, by the Spirit that dwells within us, we want to share that in order for a marriage to be successful here on earth, it is key to understand that marriage within and of itself is a mystery that has been revealed through the very Word of God.

It is a covenant relationship with God through Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit. It is the picture of perfect romance. Jesus longs to meet with you, court (spend time) you, he yearns to be close to you, to love you, comfort you, honor and respect you and spend the rest of eternity with you. In turn he wants you to meet him, yearn to be close to him, love him, comfort him (by glorifying him), seek him, honor and respect him in good times and bad, and spend eternity with him. Is this too much to ask?

The Word of God in John, chapter 1, says in the beginning was the word, that very word was with God, and God was that word. Everything came to be by his hand, and without him, not even one thing was created (including the two of you). So stop right here and give all praise and glory to God for your birth. Also take some time to repent and confess for every time you or your forefathers may have cursed the day you/they were born and ask Jesus to forgive those sins. For if you are really honest, you will most likely confess that there have been times in your life when you wish you had never been born. Ask Jesus to open up the books of your family line and in your contemporary lives and identify each occurrence. There is a purpose for this confession, as it will set a foundation for a blessing upon your life and any children you have.

Have you confessed? Wonderful! You have been forgiven. Now you can move on.

What we mean by moving on is to now stop and ask Jesus to restore every spiritual and physical blessing that may have been held up as a result of this curse being spoken by or against you and your bloodline to a thousand generations. If there is even a hint of insecurity about your relationship, use the same prayer to repent for insecurities, works of the flesh, past soul ties from relationships, etc. Lay everything on the altar and ask Jesus to cleanse you from generations past that may influence your feelings, character traits, etc. today. All of these things affect your marriage. Begin today with a fresh start in your marriage. If you don’t believe in generational repentance, then read the Bible again. It is full of it. Repenting does not necessarily mean you have not received Jesus as your Savior and that you are not saved (only Jesus truly knows your heart). It does, however, close doors that allow the enemy to come in and disrupt your marriage covenant with Jesus and each other. We encourage you to trust Jesus in this.

What is Marriage?

1). Marriage is the Covenant that God made with mankind. After the fall of man, He restored it through Jesus Christ. The word of God says that Jesus is returning for His bride, the glorious church, and that His bride will be without spot or wrinkle.

” …just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for you, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. Ephesians 5:25-27 NKJV

From this point forward, it will be helpful in your marriage if when you open the Word of God and read about husband and wife or marriage, to always look first at you being the wife in the scenario and Jesus being the husband. Too often, we take the scriptures out of context and only see our earthly and fleshly desires.

2). Marriage is an earthly covenant made between a man and woman whom God has joined together. The covenant between Jesus and his bride (man and woman alike) and secondly between the two of you. Marriage is instituted by God, for his glory and his honor. Jesus is to be in the center of every marriage. Your marriage is ultimately going to demonstrate to God both your ability to be a bride. Based on the first paragraph of this message, ask yourselves if you both feel the same way about Jesus, your true bridegroom as you feel about each other? He yearns to be close to you and doesn’t want to spend another day apart from you for the rest of your life into eternity.

What happens here on earth is that we live in a society that says you can be married, but you both are individuals. The accuser stands at the right hand of the altar where you made your vows before God and knows the holes in your armor. Given the fact he hates God, he will do everything in his power to destroy the marriage covenant between the two of you and bring separation between you and Jesus. You must recognize the battle and fight to remain ONE in the spirit with Jesus. Yes, you are both individuals, but you vowed to become one with Jesus in the center of your marriage, which essentially means you married him first, then each other. Most couples never consider how enormous this is and the devil knows it.

What Marriage Is Not?

1). Marriage is not a game. It is not a convenience, a lust of the flesh, lust of the eyes, nor is it a competing factor. It is not rude, envious, contentious etc. because God has never been rude to you, nor envious, contentious, etc. He does not compete with you and will never share His glory with another. The Holy Spirit is a gentle spirit of Truth and will not compete with your free will.

2). Marriage is not between you and your mother or father, sister or brother, children, best friends or co-workers. It is between you, your spouse, and Jesus. Please do not let the enemy tempt you to bring others, who do not fully understand the marriage covenant with God, into your marriage to influence your thoughts, senses, or actions.

There will always be challenges in life. We deceive ourselves if we don’t believe this. This is why you must be surrounded with God fearing saints that are willing to pray for your marriage and not be so quick to come in agreement with your emotional frustrations. (Ex. If you are feeling frustrated, angry, not respected, or dishonored by your spouse and you speak to a friend or relative about it in hope that they come in agreement with your emotions, then you have just cursed your spouse and your marriage and you have given Satan a foot in the door. Essentially, you have fought evil with evil by not respecting and honoring your marriage covenant with God and your spouse) The Word of God says that true family are those who do the will of God and His will is to have a bride without blemish when it is said and done.

3). Marriage is not about a man dominating a woman or taking scripture out of context. Ephesians 5 has been misunderstood, misquoted, and has misrepresented Jesus Christ for years. The mystery of Ephesians 5 has nothing to do with a marriage between a man and woman here on earth, but rather between mankind and Jesus. Paul merely uses an earthly marriage symbolically because of our carnal minds. If our marriage covenant with Jesus is in proper order, then it will naturally reflect his love and light on our marriage here on earth.

Men, your job is twofold. You are not only a husband to your earthly wife, but first and foremost you are a wife (bride) to your spiritual husband, Jesus. This can be a little challenging if you have never had a earthly father role model to show you how to be a bride of Christ. Do you fully submit to your husband for spiritual covering? If not, how can you expect your wife to submit to you for spiritual covering?

Think about this: Who better to teach you what a bride looks and acts like than your wife. You have such an opportunity to learn from your wife how to become a bride unto Christ. She is the perfect helpmate for you, just as you are to be to Jesus. Do you yearn for your husband (Jesus) and long to be near him, comforted by him, taught by him, guided and protected by him in all things like your wife does from you? Do you seek him first for all things in your life (your wife, children, work/ministry)?

How does your beautiful bride greet you, think about the look in her eyes when you enter the room, the touch of her soft skin, her beautiful scent. This is how Jesus wants you, his bride, to greet him daily. Unless you have truly known the love of Jesus Christ and you are one in Him as He is with the Father, it will be a challenge to be the godly husband you are ordained to be for your wife let alone the beautiful bride unto Him without spot or wrinkle. Wife…are you paying attention?

We address you first, man, because it was Adam that first walked with God in the garden and communed with him on a daily basis. The two were intimate, they were one in the spirit, and Adam clearly heard his beloved father’s voice and obeyed. It was to Adam whom God gave the helpmate to. It was Adam who God addressed and threw out of the garden for disobedience of not covering his wife spiritually, along with his helpmate. (see Come, Let’s Meet In The Garden blogpost)

You have been redeemed by the blood of the Lamb, but you still have the same responsibility as Adam had through the second Adam in having an intimate relationship with Jesus and walking in obedience.

As a husband to your earthly bride, you are designed by God to be her spiritual covering. She is designed by God to receive and she expects everything from you (as a representative of Jesus here on earth) that you yourself would expect from Jesus. You must fervently pray for her, love her, confer with her, teach her what you learn from Jesus, and provide for her and your family’s spiritual well being. She should never have to go to another man or woman for spiritual covering. Mentorship is not a spiritual covering.

Because we live in a society of religion and the male and female ego compete against God, the enemy has had a field day with the ignorance of mankind. How much time do you spend on your relationship with Jesus (just you and Him) through the Holy Spirit, versus how much time you spend at work, with your wife, at church, with friends etc? When was the last time you and Jesus walked through the garden?

Jesus himself said religious works are dead, so no longer can we use church activities as an excuse for spending time with God. Jesus is looking to pour out His Spirit of wisdom and knowledge through you, so that you can properly cover your wife spiritually. In turn she can walk in the fullness God has designed her to walk in. You are both spiritual beings in a fleshly temple. When she knows in the spirit that you are covering her as Jesus covers you, life begins to flow through her and back to you and then you can walk confidently in the fullness of who God designed you to be. It is very important for you to always remember that your wife is your helpmate not your slave.

The order of God is that God created man first then woman because it was not good for man to be alone…and then out of woman came man. This has nothing to do with sex. It has everything to do with the order of the marriage covenant with God through our savior Jesus Christ who came first and was here in the beginning before the foundation of the world, and then again through woman to teach us (all of mankind) the way.

(We will explore Corinthians a little later because if you have a slightest bit of a religious mindset you are already thinking “yeah, but…). No worries, stay with us a little while longer.

Woman, your job is also twofold. You have two husbands! This means you are privileged to be a bride to both…first and foremost to Jesus Messiah and then to your husband here on earth. So we ask you the question: How is your marriage covenant with Jesus? When your marriage is in order with Jesus, you will fully understand the importance of being submitted to your earthly husband’s spiritual covering. This is for your spiritual protection. This does not make you a slave, it does not make you the weaker of the two spiritually, and it certainly doesn’t mean you don’t have a specific calling from God. Jesus is your first husband, so when His spirit is pouring out through you to pray, prophecy, teach, or whatever your spiritual gift(s) are, you are covered by Jesus himself (1 Corinthians 11). The key here is for you and your husband to be in one accord spiritually, and that you never usurp or step out in your own might. (This same goes for the man, that he never step out in his own might; otherwise, he too is usurping her (being a bride) husband’s spiritual authority (Jesus)). As your spouse here on earth is praying for you and covering you by the authority given him through Christ Jesus, you will take fewer hits from the enemy.

As a wife, you are to continually pray for your husband. The best encouragement for him to grow spiritually is by submitting to him spiritually. Always confer with him and let him seek the Father for answers for your marriage and family. It is his duty as your husband and as a bride of Jesus to seek Him. At the same time you are to be his helpmate. by seeking your spiritual husband, Jesus, and sharing with your husband what Jesus is revealing to you. Together the two of you confer, wait, and move in obedience to that which God has called you to move. This does not always mean that the two of you will physically be together, but you will both know that spiritually you are one, submitting one to another through Christ Jesus.

A little story: My wife use to always laugh and say she had a toilet ministry because while she was at work outside the home, her spirit (by her husband Jesus through the Holy Spirit) would be quickened to start praying for me, her earthly husband, so she would quietly go to the restroom and pray until the Holy Spirit would give her a release. When we spoke later on the phone or in person, as I would share my day, she would then understand why she was called to intercede at that time. We are one in the Spirit.

The bottom line is that we will be held accountable for our role as husband and wife, and Jesus will ultimately determine who he chooses as his bride. It is not a covenant to be taken lightly. The myth about marriage being a compromise is not true. Marriage on earth is our opportunity to seek the Father and learn how to become the Bride of Christ. Anything else is not of Him.

First Corinthians:

Hopefully by now your spirit is beginning to receive the picture that the Holy Spirit wants to unveil to you about marriage. When Paul addressed the church in Corinth, it is key to know what/who it was he was up against. The Gentiles had not known the way of the Israelites nor their customs. Instead they had come from thousands of years of pagan idol worship and especially female goddess worship. The women had specific rituals for fertility and there was much temple prostitution. So, although they had learned about Jesus Christ and wanted to follow him, they had not yet learned how to put off the old man (if you will) and lay down the generations of temple worship. Paul needed to teach the men how to step into their spiritual authority and to teach the women how to submit to that authority. So, while the organized religion of today’s Christianity focuses on 1 Corinthians, chapter 14:34-35, and twist its meaning, I encourage you both to read the whole letter and see what the purpose of Paul’s message was. Studying the history of the times, will help you to better understand why he said what he did.

As you will see for yourself, in chapter 11, Paul is addressing the spiritual covering of Jesus to his bride (both male/female). He sets the order straight as we described above. Jesus is the head (spiritual covering or hair symbolically) over the body. This chapter clearly says that there is no distinction between male and female in Jesus, because he is addressing his bride (male & female alike) and saying no one should pray or prophecy without the covering of Jesus through the Holy Spirit. Otherwise, we are usurping God’s authority that has been given to us through our husband, Jesus. In other words, woman & man (you both are considered as the woman to Jesus, as his bride) should keep silent in the church unless the spirit of God is moving through you to speak, then and only then are you covered by Jesus. Again, Paul is dealing with a very carnal minded fleshy church of contentious men and women who did not understand the spiritual order of things. They were babes and not mature. In verse 17, Paul goes on to say “Now, I give you these commands, not to praise you, for you have not made progress, but have become worse…” There it is! There were/and still are today too many divisions among us, controversies about what the spirit is saying, and basically what this means is that as men/women, aka the bride, we do not clearly hear the voice of Jesus and therefore, do not walk in the godly marriage covenant we are invited to walk in.

As the man, if you are seeking and listening to the voice of Jesus through the Holy Spirit and even through your wife by the Holy Spirit, you will recognize the important role you have as spiritual head of your household; and woman, if you are seeking and listening to the voice of Jesus as well as his voice through your husband by the Holy Spirit, then you will recognize that Jesus dwells within you both and how vitally important it is to let your husband be the spiritual head of the house.

Don’t either of you ever get caught up in who can do what, when, or how. Idle contentious words profit no one. Rather rejoice in knowing you are in the Father through the Son through the Holy Spirit, and let the Spirit flow from above through you both. This, and only this, will strengthen your marriage and defeat the works of the devil which seek to steal, kill, and destroy what Jesus has intended for his bride.

Pray together and learn to be in one accord with each other. Laugh together, cry together, and sing together. We praise God for each of you and wish you love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, faith, meekness, and temperance in your marriage covenant.

Blessings in Jesus’ Name,

Garry & Norma Umphress